Rabbi Akiva Remembers

Guest Post... By Rabbi Akiva Gutnicki

My mother was an incredible person. Her memory continues to be an inspiration to me and my whole family. For me personally, a big factor that led to me involved in Kiruv was my mother.During her lifetime, my mother lived life to its fullest despite many obstacles throughout her life. She lost her father at the young age of 14. How did she react? She picked up the pieces and worked after school and helped support the family financially. In fact she always took great care of my grandmother ob"m.
My mother always led by action. She instilled in my childhood great memories. My childhood was always fun due to her. In elementary school, I always had any nosh that I wanted. Every Pesach holiday we always went to a hotel. Anytime possible we would have a big birthday party. Any toy,video game, etc..that we wanted my mother didn't even hesitate and got the item that we wanted. 
She did all of this while having cancer. My mother felt that each moment in life was so valuable and deserved to be maximized. Her sickness never served as an excuse that she couldn't take care of us properly. Quite the contrary, it gave my mother more motivation to give us the best childhood. 
My childhood days were some of the fondest in my life. The gift that my mother gave to my family to make everything look a normal day despite a reality of many obstacles was invaluable. For me personally, I am very grateful to have that experience. I try to lead my life that way for my whole family. That even though we live in a world with many challenges, we still have the ability to make the best of it at each moment. It had led me to go into kiruv; where I try to inspire people about Judaism. I always try to convey that Judaism is meant to be a way of enjoying each moment in life. Mommy, I miss you dearly. Thank you for what you gave to me, I always will cherish my childhood. I will always will cherish what you did for us.

What Would Yetta Gutnicki Do…

For those who know me a long time they may know of another Gutnicki; Yetta Gutnicki. There was a time that many people from different circles knew of my mother. Some knew her from her childhood, some from her work as a nurse, and some from other circles. It was always fascinating to hear about my mother. These days there are fewer people who knew of her. Subsequently, I must rely on my own memories to recall the days of old. Naturally pictures and visiting locations from the past is also helpful. Sometimes,I will reflect on a specific date or a certain amount of years ago such as 25 and 30 years ago.

As my own children grow older I often catching myself following my mother’s footsteps. As my wife and I prepared Simcha for his bar mitzvah we used various incentives to keep Simcha on track. We also expected our son to devote adequate time to his bar mitzvah studies so that he can be successful. At the same time we were very careful not to cause stress to Simcha during the process. Incidentally, a funny thing happened along the way. Simcha not only reached the expected milestones for his bar mitzvah; he exceeded it. He practiced his laining and made sure he can be heard by all of the participants. It was then I noticed some remarkable parallels.

I remember how my mother used incentives to keep my brothers and myself on track for our bar mitzvah as well as other tasks. More importantly, I also remember how my mother kept fighting for her children until the very end of her life. No matter what challenges she was facing nothing was ever more important than the welfare of her children. She always made time to help her children with their academics, listen to their problems, and always pushed and fought with every ounce of strength for the benefit of her children. The fighting aspect occurred to me as I reflected on the different challenges my wife and I have weathered for our children. As I think about the various memories of my mother it always involved helping her family in one form or another. For example, while she was ill with ovarian cancer, she was helping her own mother with illness, her children with their homework, and so on. So as I reflect on my mother’s life I ask, “What would Yetta Gutnicki do?” The answer is very simple. She would keep fighting no matter how steep the challenge. Giving up would never be an option.

Memories of Kosher Delight and Other Stuff

When I was a kid Kosher Delight was all the rage. Like many families we enjoyed the convenience of eating at their establishment. Anyhow... let me take you back to 1990 when I was about to enter my 2nd year of college. For those who remember those time our economy was not doing well. The stock market crashed only a few year earlier and everyone seemed to be hurt financially. The shop until you drop attitude of the 1980's was no longer viable. Nevertheless, we still had bills to pay. In my case, I needed a way to pay for college. As the summer was winding down, I started looking for a job. I called several ads and was getting nowhere. Since I was 18 years old at the time this is no surprise.

Upon hearing of my job woes, my mother said to me, "Your going about this the wrong way. I have an idea. I am going to drive you around. You will walk into different establishments and tell the store manager you are interested in working for them." Our first stop was Kosher Delight. I spoke to the manager for a few minutes and was hired immediately. My shift was from 6-11 PM 5 days a week; Sunday- Thursday. At this job, I had several tasks including carrying up the food from the freezer in the basement, preparing customer orders, and assisting customers. I do not remember too much about the experience. However, here are a few things I do remember. My manager, told me after they finish the order to subtly ask if they need anything else. Furthermore, if the customer, did not order a drink we were encouraged to ask the customer if they want a drink with this order. I also remember had to wear a silly Kosher Delight hat and some kind of Kosher Delight uniform which had seen its better days.

A few weeks later a friend of mine bumped into me at Kosher Delight and asked me what they were paying me hourly. When I told my friend I was making minimum wage she was horrified. She then told me, "I am going to get you a better job with my boss." I went on the interview to work at a picture frame factory. Sure enough, they were interested in hiring me. With this in mind,  I discussed this new job opportunity with my parents and told them how I would get paid 6 dollars an hour instead of 4 dollars an hours. My father was concerned about me leaving Kosher Delight and was noting that you might  regret leaving if this Kosher Delight manager gets promoted and you bump into him in other circles. He further noted that if I really want to leave I should give the manager 3 week notice. Suddenly, my mother said sarcastically, " 3 week notice? He only worked there for 4 weeks! Plus your talking about a  fast food job!" Afterwords, we all had a good laugh and of course I started the new job.

So... what is the point of this story? Well, in short my mom was someone you could always depend on sensible advice. No one had more  street smarts than her. Who else could coach their son to walk into a store and get a job. Who else could dispense great dating advice, how to handle changing jobs, and so on. This is why she was well liked at the medical office she worked at. She knew people were nervous about going to the doctor. To this end, she would always dispense good advice, and put their mind at ease.